I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great.

My lovely dogs

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 16:42:10 GMT

Pano ba yan? May trabaho na ko?

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 13:48:19 GMT

The madness will stop.
Bumness shall be part of my past.
Earning money will be my future!
I am so happy I got the job that I really wanted.. AS in to--lly.

Thank the gods for me for sheer luck or whatever you wanna call it. I just got the first job I applied for, and it's going to make me rich! (Well, not really) Plus, I can work on this "project" me and camille's working on... *wink, wink*

So true.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 03:21:41 GMT

You Like Cassie. Cassie Likes You.

The gods just threw me a bone

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 23:26:17 GMT

What luck. I can't believe I made it this far. I'm almost near the transition between being a bum and actually becoming useful in our society. I can't believe my luck really. I haven't done anything to deserve this. I haven't lifted a finger, even. I don't want to mess this up though. Not that I'm getting really excited, i don't want to get my hopes up...

But hell! It feels good to have options!

WTF?!

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 14:40:54 GMT

When a boy asks for your number, and tells you he'll call and he doesn't we shouldn't be surprised. Guys just have it in their genes. They must have. It's just no biggie, right? There's absolutely no need to fuss, and expect anything. No one should get paranoid about anything. I have always, always thought how stupid women get for obsessing about stuff that isn't even considered important. If he doesn't call, fine. But here I am in the same, awkward place where I am obsessing. I am getting paranoid. I don't even think I like the guy. I was just wondering how come he said he was going to call and didn't, that's all. Curious, really.

I cannot believe I wrote this. I am totall--y obsessing about this damn thing. D--amn.

I cannot believe I watched "The first daughter" last night

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 01:24:00 GMT

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Baaahh, says Frank

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 05:30:56 GMT

It's funny how people end up in different places. It's funny how they end up getting there without them expecting it. It's interesting how life seem to go on and on, and when you feel like its the end, life throws something at you that would make you want to go on some more. Bait. That's it, we're being baited. Just when we're about to give up, a lucky break comes our way. Dammit. I hate something but I can't put my thoughts as to even describe what it is. Whatever it is, I hate it. The feeling of it, the implications of it, the thought of it... I don't even KNOW what it is dammit.

I am so damn tired of everything. I hate staying at home. I hate going out. I hate waking up late. I hate not sleeping early. I hate hate her. I hate him. I hate them. I hate this. OMG I'm going fucking crazy!!

FUCKING WORLD

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 17:06:28 GMT

I've said too much i don't even want to breathe. Dammit! Hate hate hate hate hate! CURSE YOU *insert whatever*!

I wanna leave this wretched place. I hate hate hate everything. I have a fucking headache!

Tangnang pasko to! Ang gulo!

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 11:57:12 GMT

I have failed to go to any simbang gabi, because I never wake up early. Never. I end up watching Starting Over and waking at 12 noon. So, to make a long story short, ever since classes have ceased, I became an insomniac.

I haven't finished my Christmas shopping because i don't have any more money. I ended up spending stuff for myself and ended up with less gifts for other people. I guess it's okay not to give gifts this Christmas. But, then again, that's what I said last Christmas.

I'm skittish about my future. I really don't see myself as finding a job and sticking to it. Heck, I want and need the money, but I just can't focus right now, my head's a blur. I hate it that people know what they want and I don't. I hate it that some people are trying, and I don't even want to think about trying. I don't want to end up like a certain person who doesn't have to work because he/she is rich, while mother/father works for them. (I love you, but i'm sorry i think its selfish)

I never wanted to go to Greenhills because I knew it would be jam-packed. But I went.
I never dreamed of reaching Galleria because the Mrt station was too far and I didn't want to walk all the way there. But I went.
I never, ever,ever, planned of doing Christmas shopping at SM but HELL! I had to. Ugh.

I'm looking forward to our trip after Christmas. Boy, do i need it.

I hate this entry. Ugh.

My bad!

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 04:06:36 GMT

I woke up at 12 noon today.

So much for trying to complete simbang gabi. Unang araw palang successfully unsuccessful na ako.

I hate my Compaq's battery! Kailangan I-recharge, ng i-recharge na paulit-ulit nakakainis!

I have so many errands to do and yet, may muta pa sa aking mga mata...

Collecting my dues

YOU! Don't even think for a second na pinatawad na kita! Umayos ka. I'm civil but not that civil. I can literally hear the awkwardness kapag kasama kita. Not being an ungrateful bitch, but the thing is, I'm realy not comfortable. Really. And I hate it that maybe you think that it's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY!!!?! Pagod na ako kaka-small talk okey? Pwede bang wag na tayong mag-usap muna? Lumayo ka muna sa kin? I don't hate you, you know. I'm just not there yet, in the little place where everything's fine and what's done have been forgotten. OMG akala mo ganun kadali yon? Akala mo hindi na kailangan yon? Your the smartest bozo I have ever met. Think of that as a compliment if you must.

It's official.

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 10:00:00 GMT

I am done. No more classes.

It's official. It's Christmas season and we are going to PARTY! Yeah!

OMG si Jb ay officially unofficially stripped off with his table3 rights and priviledges. Pahirapan sa party I swear!
And guess what? Si engot may webcam! Pinaghantay pa ko ng ubod ng tagal (I swear I almost fell off my chair) just to enable his webcam.. OMG.

Like to---lly.

Grand Master Zi.. Hail hail!

I SO rock.

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 06:13:29 GMT

Finished with all of my papers! With a slight assistance of my bestfriend... All six of them! I'm so proud of myself... I only have 1 final exam and I'm free... so free..

--->The graduation party starts here<---
Though its still unofficial, I feel as if I'm one step closer in walking the "walk" and getting my diploma... I can't even see myself working because.. well.. because I still don't know what I what to do with my life..

Will I be able to get away with it if i party on for a few months (i don't think so!) What if I stay at home and bum around? (nope.)

It's my papa's birthday and I don't have a gift.. I did greet him though.. Wonder how old he is? Will I even live that long?

I can go to the States! (As soon as I get my visa, that is) I can go to Disneyland, and scout for a job... (Hmmm) I'm so excited I can pee in my pants right now...

--->'Tis the Season<---
Fra,la,la,la,la...la,la,la,la!

It's getting cold again... I define Christmas by having gifts under our tree... Getting gifts are great but giving them's really swell. (OMG did I just say swell?!)

Well, Christmas shopping, here I go!

Christmas season...

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 16:07:00 GMT

There's no better way to tell you how I feel than this.
Don't act so surprised,
it's been like this a long time.
Every time you turn your back on me,
it breaks my heart to think of all those times that I was there for you.
If there ever comes a time when I won't be there I hope you have some time and find someone else to abuse.
I won't be there, I'm not a fool.
I am getting tired of you.
I remember those rainy days when I stayed in.
I'd call you on the phone and try to be your friend.
But to no avail, I swore it would never happen again.
Two phone calls later and I gave it.
I'm such a sucker, why do I try so hard?
The simple things I do to prove I care for you.
I won't be there, I'm not a fool.
I am getting tired of you.
I won't let this world get me down.
And your silly games won't get me down.
I pray to god that you won't get me down.

Akala mo ba hindi ko alam?

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 07:33:02 GMT

i would kill for camille, cassie and mara. i love them too much. all of them. i would even drink a vat of patis in exchange for the assurance that "we" will all be fine. i know they don't know how much i love them because, well, i'm not exactly that kind of person, nor are we those kinds of people to say and do those things to each other (although, i have to admit that i am a "do" and "show" person). if you could only see us become instantaneously uncomfortable and squeamish whenever we see a mushy girl friend moment coming up, you'd understand. truth is, i'm not even sure if they feel the same towards me.......but even so, i still love them.

Frustrated student

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 06:58:15 GMT

Down to 3 papers. With only a week remaining, I say someone's butt needs to get kicked. I have so many things to do! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Seriously, a friend of mine was laughing AT me when he saw me this morning. Let me visualize. Pawi-pawis and maraming dala. Mukhang hindi nag-suklay at walang tulog.

My aunt's gone. People crying at home. Oh well... At least I can finally access the internet from home. She even gave me a printer with 3 extra inks. YAHOO! Plus I have a burner and some blank cds with it. YEHEY! Of course that doesn't mean that I'm happy she's gone. I'm just happy because I have her cool stuff. I have her Compaq! Yeah! Early Christmas for me, really.

Well, anyhoooo.. I haven't done any Christmas shopping, if that's what you call it these days.. Probably after I'm done with my 3 papers due next week!

Nothing.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 06:42:44 GMT

I have so much stuff to do, yet I write about nothing. I should be too busy for these type of stuff.. because I have 6 papers to do (one is minimum of 25 fucking pages) and I still haven't finished a single one. Not, a single, one! I wanna tear my hair out of my scalp! Damn it! Damn it!

I pray to God, that I get approved for a visa next year so I can go to Disneyland. (And my aunt's wedding) Somebody's ass will get kicked if I don't.. I hope we can get Zach to finish his exams earlier so he can come to.. DAmn it! If all else fails I only get to visit Hongkong or Bangkok, which sucks. I swear, if I don't get to go, I am gonna hate Americans forever. (Yes, I am taking this very personally)

Libre?

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 01:33:58 GMT

In case na totoo itong libre na stuff... Click niyo na lang...
FREE!!!!

The i-was-hoping-for-an-uneventful-day-but-instead-HAD-an-eventful-day day

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 06:33:23 GMT

First thing I heard from Camille today was she, telling me via text, that she would not be able to hang-out nor see each other for the whole day. Understandably, this was due to her thesis, which I mean to say is that I feel her pain because I had once felt "the" pain of once having to beat deadlines and all that bs. Anyhow, I go to our blasted classroom where I had to wait like an idiot for a professor who never came. Of course my classmates, after waiting for 15 minutes realized that its time to go, hence the start of my presumably uneventful u-break. I had more than 3 hours to go. I. needed. a. plan.

The moment I stepped out of the classroom at Yuchengco, I saw little M waiting for the big L. Since L the not so tall was ignoring my text and 1 missed call, I decided to just strike up a convo and start there. I can always back out if I wanted to, anyway. So here I was, talking to little M, enjoying myself because we hadn't talked about anything like, since forever, and here comes Mike texting that he agreed to eat with "us" (meaning L,M and I) (woopee). Anyways, he did need my notes (indeed) and since I've been breaking my rule of actually eating with the couple alone with them, by telling little M that I wanted to eat with them, I figured, what the hell, let's all have the couples in it and have a blast. It was a good thing Camille the savior and my master of the day texted me to say that she had an hour off from Reynald (thank God) and that she was coming to meet with me for lunch. FINALLY! Someone from up there probably felt my desperation and silent plea of hope. Although I am probably going to pay for my stroke of goodluck for the rest of my life, I did indeed, felt relieved that at least Camille would be there with me.

All my selfish revelations pointed to one thing. Humans are pathetic creatures and terribly, terribly needy. I hate myself for being so vulnerable and weak. (Naks) Okay I just ruined the moment of getting my self-respect by saying "naks".

Selfishness and neediness isnt really my type, and it definitely does not agree with me. Although I might want to congratulate myself for being a good actor. I swear no one could tell I was feeling really *cough* anxious about the, uh, whole thing.

Surprisingly, the place the couple chose wasn't that bad (although I stink) the food was ok, and the place was clean (enough). Since I only had 100 pesos inside my wallet, I really felt that the place deserved my hundred. Anyway, we had our laughs and reminisced (though some WWII rules were broken) but it was all good. I cannot believe that some people think I hate them so much that I can't eat with them. I don't even hate them. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed their company today. (Not that I was desperate, but yeah that could be it) The thing is, things are not as bad as before. I repeat and reiterate, I think its because of the combination of people back then.

*****

I saw the sad A today. He looks sad, his shoulders looking hunched and all that, but I couldn't put myself to ask how he is. (coping, I mean) I mean, its just so uncomfortable for me, I was literally squeamish when I saw him. Little M didn't even think twice and gave A a pucker on the cheek but I just waved and made small talk. Damn, I suck.

More of this?

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 01:40:18 GMT

Friends, friends, friends.. Breezing through season one...

Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork...

Research...Doing the hoola..

New site for my pictures..I cannot believe I filled 12 MB of space already...
HERE!!!

U-break ngayon and wala na naman ang mga tao. Hmm... Not that I'm complaining. I appreciate the "me" time. I just don't eat alone because I have this weird thing about eating alone. Talk about insecure. Right.

PICTURE, PICTURE!

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 01:31:40 GMT

Finally after some to--lly freaking about my new and improved bluetooth.. I've finally managed to upload files.. Updated yung iba, the others, new pics... Nasa huli lang yung mga bagong pictures...hanapin niyo na lang..

Dogs
SHANGRI-LA practicum
BATANGGAS Ang sleep patrol
Skinned alive Si camille ito!
The Palawan experience!

Yung Palawan as in sobrang dami pa... nakakahilo...

Just hanging around..

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:45:59 GMT

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

How to make a mwah19

Ingredients:

5 parts anger

5 parts courage

3 parts energy

Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

cassandra de leos
LOVES
vin diesel

21144
3258
5713
1284
31012
4113
524
76

Love Level: 76%

Loves-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

mwah19 Highway

Mt. Happiness	9
Confusion Lane	24
Paintown	47
Bog of Eternal Marriage	147
Bankruptcity	519
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

World war 3

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 01:47:43 GMT

I got this from one of my old sites... And I was to--ly freakin'

Camille and I were talking about how Table3 would fall apart without the "superior" people or yung mga key players namely, me and camille as the planners and organizers, mara as the decision maker, and zhorai as the peacemaker... And I'd have to agree with her, sometimes it comes to a point where you feel like these people doesnt care...(medyo ungrateful) And although the gang hasnt been having any MAJOR problems, I feel na meron pa ring mga hidden agendas (DUH) lurking around the table. Yan ang hirap pag marami kayo sa barkada.

I guess the rest was just history. Ookay then.

Meet my split personality self.

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 01:59:42 GMT

And Shirley was her name... A not so very ordinary girl or name.. But who's to blame?

Anyway, I call my pup chi-chi (as coined by my lil bro).. Such a sweet lil thang.

I don't want to write anymore. I have to go. Away. Away from evil eyes. So i can write better. Damn it.

Bakit?

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 01:49:23 GMT

Bakit mahilig ang mga ibang tao na mang-alipusta ng blog ng iba?
Ano bang pakialam nila?
What the hell do they know?

Grr.

Walang pakielaman. Wrong grammar, wrong spelling, at kung anu-ano pang "kababalaghan" na nangyayari sa blog ng may blog, bakit kailangan mapunta sa bastusan? Gumawa ka ng sarili mong blog na perpekto at manahimik ka! Leche.

Bwisit talaga. Magsusulat ka na lang may mangingielam pa. Hay.

Go ahead bitch!

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 01:30:55 GMT

My bitch just poo-pooed all over our living room. And dining room. And Kitchen. (Our house is so small, you can actually take 10 steps be able to tour an entire floor.) I haven't named her yet, coz I'm still thinking about a nice name to give her. She's 4 months old, and a purebred Daschund. She's very small, and get this, she doesn't have hair underneath. Really, really smooth. Her first night went really well. She didn't bark at all (although I think she's still deathly afraid of us) but she's really cute because she always wants to be carried and seems to want all of your body heat. (coz she's bald!)

Anyway, I'm so glad we have a house dog. My little bitch. *evil laugh*